actually it IS a talking point. Men are far less likely to report domestic violence. But the research is clear. In more than half the cases where women report domestic violence, the violence is actually mutual. Woman hits man repeatedly until the man is forced to push her away. The woman calls the police because she was pushed. Heard that particular story time and time again. Even the woman who first created shelters tells the story of her findings. Most of the women who sought shelter admitted that the violence was mutual. Unfortunately for the founder (in the 60s I believe) she partnered with feminist groups, who decided that the narrative would be better if only man on woman violence needed to be publicised. She was kicked out of her own organisation because she was more interested in the truth. Need I mention that the highest growth of domestic violence is in lesbian relationships? Apparently testosterone helps regulate emotions, hence men are more likely to maintain emotional control. But sure... it's a settled issue!
Men and women have different incentives to report violence, or even infidelity. Let's not factor that little nugget though