Jokes

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I yelled "COW!" at a woman on a bike, she flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow.
I tried!

 

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View attachment 4548

This one got me literally LOL'ing.

 

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I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.
Whoever screwed this up should be stabbed!

 

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My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.
I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

 

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I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.

 

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If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it."
That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.

 

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Netflix is soon releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
The finale is shot before a live audience.

 

[Federberg]